'He said I threw away a good relationship “for a bunch of fat cats that hate me”': College student breaks up with boyfriend after he insists she give up her cats when moving in together, unwilling to share their home with four beloved feline friends

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    'I just can't abandon three of them by choice, so I broke up with him'
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    - I have four cats — all spayed, vaccinated, and very well cared for. Right now, they live with my parents while I live alone to finish college and work, with the plan to eventually have enough space to bring all of them with me.
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    My boyfriend is caring, helps around the house, and takes care of me when I'm sick. Recently, he suggested we move in together · but with one condition: I could only bring one of my cats. because "four is too many" and he didn't want to live surrounded by animals.
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    His reasoning was that I've mentioned wanting to have multiple pets in the future, and he made it clear that between having different species and keeping my cats, I should choose just one. I told him that between having any other pet and my cats, I'd always choose to keep all of my cats.
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    I just can't abandon three of them by choice, so I broke up with him. He said I threw away a good relationship "for a bunch of fat cats that hate me." AITA for ending a relationship with someone who made me choose between him and my pets?
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    Storm_cold_ NTA. My cats are my babies, I'm sure it's the same for you. If he can get rid of pets that easily, he isn't someone I'd want to be with anyways.
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    Low Temperature 9... NTA. He sure demonstrated that you made the right choice with his response huh Good riddance.
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    Bookqueen42 NTA. I would choose my cats too. I only have 2 and could never just choose one.
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    Good QueenFluffen... You two are just incompatible. Nothing more nothing less. If you get rid of three of your cats you'll be miserable but if you keep all four he'll be miserable. Nothing left to be done except break up and find someone who also really likes pets like you do.
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    allergymom74 I'm assuming your cats are going to be around for many years so he basically gave you the option to move in with one cat or don't until your four cats are down to 1, which would prevent your relationship from moving forward for a long time.
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    A more reasonable discussion COULD have been, I'm ok with the four cats but after these cats are gone, can we limit ourselves to 1-2 pets. But to put a medically unnecessary limitation around existing pets is crazy to me.
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    I had a friend whose husband was allergic to cats. Know what he did? He suffered with allergy shots. and medicine until those cats passed away. And then they finally got a family pet they all could enjoy. Do I think someone should suffer allergies? No. But the fact he was willing to shows he cared enough about her and
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    her needs. If they had ended up rehoming cats because they talked and heard each other, that would be ok too. Like he could have talked through what allergy shots. and medicine entailed and she easily could say I appreciate you wanting to consider that but I won't ask you to because I care about you. That is how a healthy conversation could go. NTA.
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    Hilarious_Genius No, you aren't. They were here before he was and they'll be here after he's gone. Don't move in with somebody who doesn't want you to keep your babies.
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    Embarrassed_Cre... The title was enough to say NTA,you both clearly have different choices, he doesn't seem to like pets, you love your cats, relationships require both parties to sacrifice.and I believe cats or any animals at that matter, are non-negotiable if they were there when you enter the relationship, if they
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    have been a part of the person you've about to get into a relationship with, then they (CATS, DOGS, ANIMALS) are part of the package, you don't get to ask OP to "pick one" you did the right thing OP.
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    minionofthenight NTA. I've been with my partner 9 years & have 7 cats. My eldest just passed at 20 1/2. He knows well I'll always pick them over him even if we've been in each other's lives for 19 years. Find a parter who will love you and your fur family
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    Newjudger The fact that he made you choose and said that the cats hate him are already 2 red flags, and There is another BIG issue here: in 4 YEARS the 2 of you have not managed to have a clear and proper conversation about the 4 cats:
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    he's been avoiding the discussion because he knew you'd choose them and hoped and tried to convince you to give up on them, and you knew he'd probably will not want them and postponed the discussion for 4 years, hoping you'll convince him.
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    I doubt that you'll manage to determine him to accept all of them based on what you've written in your post and comment, sorry.
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    DBgirl83 NAH He's allowed to set boundaries and you are allowed not to agree to them. This means you aren't compatible anymore, better to find out now than later.
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    QuestionMaker207 NTA. Like, you're never the ahle for breaking up with someone. You should only date someone you're really excited to be with. I personally think four cats is way too many and wouldn't date someone who insisted on having that many. Two would be my limit. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences.

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